Shakespeare Song Parody: I Schemed a Scheme

This is the 19th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.


I Schemed a Scheme
sung to the tune of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Misérables

(With congratulations to Best Supporting Actress nominee Anne Hathaway…)

There was a crime here in my mind,
When I’d find these wives,
And I’d come a-wooing.
There was a crime to rob them blind,
And I would earn their trust,
And I’d be their undoing.
There was a crime,
Then it all went wrong.

I schemed a scheme so long ago,
When a desperate man could earn a shilling.
I schemed the husbands would not know;
I schemed the wives would be more willing.
I never gave a second thought,
For schemes were gold, success expected.
There was no fear of getting caught,
No trap unsprung, no purse neglected.

But they put me in a basket,
And they threw me in the river.
Well, it might have been my casket,
And it turned my scheme to rage.
They would not let me in their lives;
They left me soaking in a shiver.
And I must blame the merry wives
Of Master Ford and Master Page.
And still I scheme they’ll come to me,
And they will open up their purses.
But there are schemes that cannot be,
And there are blessings turned to curses.

I had a scheme these wives would be
So different from the way I found them;
So different now from how I schemed.
These wives have killed
The scheme I schemed.

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