Real life or parody? Sometimes, I can’t tell the difference anymore. That’s when it’s time for the Headline Game.

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from Rueters News Service. Can you tell which are the real headlines and which … oh wait. They’re all real. I guess it’s not going to be much of a game this time, but feel free to discuss any of the stories behind these Onion-sounding headlines in the comments section below.

1. Deal could mean $70,000,000,000 more for war
2. President Bush vetoes child health bill again
3. Teen caller tricks White House
4. “w00t” crowned word of year by U.S. dictionary

Note: CNN headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ.

Stories: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Keg thefts cost brewers $50 million
2. Relieve stress by smashing up a hotel room
3. Report: Many U.S. parents outsourcing child care overseas
4. Revised Patriot Act will make it illegal to read Patriot Act

Note: CNN headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Half of nation outraged at new, not-yet-released Michael Moore film
2. Top colleges want out of U.S. News rankings
3. Study: Alzheimer’s patients say they do not have Alzheimer’s
4. Study: More people swallowed by sand than sharks

Note: CNN headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. All creatures great, small and disappearing
2. Author to use water as metaphor
3. Craig Kilborn ready to return to The Daily Show
4. Deadly ‘cheese heroin’ aimed at teens

Note: CNN headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Audience calls candidates back on stage for debate encore
2. Lightning zaps Giuliani’s abortion answer
3. Nation hoping for a windy Flag Day
4. Winnie Mandela barred from Canada

Note: CNN headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

And one more from The Onion:

Unconventional Director Sets Shakespeare Play In Time, Place Shakespeare Intended

Two of the headlines below are from the Washington Post, and are about why Paul Wolfowitz should resign. The other two are from the Guardian Unlimited, and are about why Paul Wolfowitz should resign. Can you spot which are the American headlines about why Paul Wolfowitz should resign, and which are the British?

1. Angry Wolfowitz in four-letter tirade
2. Bank may vote no confidence in Wolfowitz
3. Bank rebukes Wolfowitz on ethics
4. Europe calls for Wolfowitz to quit

Note: Capitalization on the Post headlines changed to match the style of the Guardian.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Gap unveils new ‘For Kids, By Kids’ clothing line
2. Giuliani donations to Planned Parenthood surface
3. Oprah stuns audience with free man giveaway
4. Supernova dazzles scientists

Note: CNN headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. CBS to release own version of NBC’s The Office
2. MLB credits Hank Aaron with 50 lost home runs
3. Shadowy Iraq office accused of sectarian agenda
4. Tiny terrier saves kids from pit bulls

Note: Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. ‘Ask a Ninja,’ OK Go win YouTube Awards
2. Injured troops request extended tours to avoid being sent to Walter Reed
3. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed confesses to confessing under torture
4. Oscar-nominated actor’s big love: Physics

Note: Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

But what if I could leave behind just one post that combines all of my regular features for the week? Why, we’d just have to call that a Shakespeare Teacher Special Feature! Here’s how it breaks down:

• I. Please find below eight brand-new riddles. This should more than satisfy fans of the Thursday Morning Riddle. Each answer will be one word. Please tell us which number you’re solving and your one-word answer.
• II. Once the riddles have been solved, place the eight one-word answers in the Venn Diagram below, using the numbers as guides. This will be your Conundrum. Can you guess the rules? Venn diagram explanation and sample here.
• III. The answer to Circle A (Riddles 1,3,5,7) will be a place. To stand in for the fact vs. fiction Headline Game, can you name three fictional television shows (of at least four seasons each) that are set in this real-life place?
• IV. The answer to Circle B (Riddles 2,3,6,7) will be a question. This is the Question of the Week. Once the games are done, feel free to discuss this question in the comments below. I have already registered my opinion elsewhere on the blog.
• V. The answer to Circle C (Riddles 7,4,6,5) will be a historical person. I was able to link this person to Sir Francis Bacon in four degrees, though that shouldn’t stop you from posting a longer response, or looking for a shorter one. Entries will be accepted until midnight on Thursday, March 22.

Use the comments section below to register any and all answers, discussion, and comments. I won’t be around much the next couple of days to moderate this, so please work together. If someone posts an answer you think is right, go ahead and say so and offer some words of encouragement. Also, feel free to pass this along to anyone you think may be interested. Here is the direct link.

If this is all too overwhelming or confusing, then just enjoy these eight riddles, and I’ll be back soon to talk about something simple, like Shakespeare.

The Riddles:

1. I act Maynard G. Krebs, and I Gilligan feign;
I’m the Mile High hub; leaving on a jet plane;
With the dinosaurs gone, I’m the last to remain;
And peppers, ham, onions, and eggs I contain.

2. I’m a weave, or the shirt type for which it is known;
I’m the college of Thatcher and William Gladstone;
I’m an unabridged lexicon, standing alone;
And I’m also the clay that preserves a fish bone.

3. I was first worn by Chaplin before his divorce;
I’m a race to be run by a three-year-old horse;
When in cars, I’m a wreck; when on skates, I use force;
And the kids on their soap boxes follow my course.

4. I’m the former first lady of all New York State;
A Nobel-winning chemist who won for a date;
A survivor on Lost with too sudden a fate;
And an ex-Cheney aide who is now an inmate.

5. A brigade made of Wolverines served my command,
When the Sioux and Cheyenne boldy tried to expand.
But the Little Big Horn didn’t go quite as planned,
When I stood up to Sitting Bull – that’s my last stand.

6. If you’re bringing me home, it can be quite a slog;
You can link me to Hoffman or to Skip the Dog;
I’m a fried strip of meat from the gut of a hog;
And a regular feature right here on the blog.

7. I am not Robert Browning, but captured his soul;
I am Stanton, and Hurley, and Taylor, and Dole;
Though I lost that which Shakespeare in Love from me stole;
It was won back by Helen for playing my role.

8. Both the lion and lamb are my two weather guides;
I’m the music of Sousa; the steps it provides;
When in basketball, madness; in history, strides;
In the middle, a novel; Beware of the Ides!

Who are we? 

UPDATE: Riddles 1-6 and 8 solved by Andrew.  Riddle 7 solved by DeLisa.  Circles B and C solved by Annalisa.  See comments for all answers. 

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Hard-bitten New Yorkers want mugger’s head
2. NHL signs broadcast deal with Food Network
3. Sharpton says he’s not jealous of Obama
4. White House adds eight inches to White House fence

Note: Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Six of the twelve places below can be found in Earthsea, a fictional world in the works of fantasy writer Ursula K. Le Guin. The other six places are very real, and can be found within the human body. Can you tell the biological places from the fantastical?

1. Bars of Uny
2. Circle of Willis
3. The Dragon’s Run
4. Gate of Selidor
5. The Isle of the Ear
6. The Islets of Langerhans
7. Loop of Henle
8. Low Torning
9. Luschka’s Crypts
10. McBurney’s Point
11. Outer Innran
12. Space of Disse

Answers: Earthsea, The Human Body

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Bill Clinton waiting until after primaries to endorse candidate
2. Colorado governor vows to “arm-wrestle” for jobs
3. Oscars reveal widening gap between best, worst dressed
4. Study: Vanity on the rise among college students

Note: Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match the style of CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Six of the twelve names below have been the Secretary General of the United Nations. The other six are characters from Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace. Can you tell the historical names from the fantastical?

1. Padme Amidala
2. Kofi Annan
3. Jar Jar Binks
4. Boutros-Boutros Gali
5. Lord Gladwyn Jebb
6. Qui-Gon Jinn
7. Obi-Wan Kenobi
8. Ban Ki-Moon
9. Trygve Halvdan Lie
10. U Thant
11. Chancellor Finis Valorum
12. Mace Windu

Bonus Question: Can you pick out the current UN Secretary General from the list?

Answers: Phantom Menace, United Nations

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Apple hard at work making iPhone obsolete
2. Group wants bus drivers to hang up their phones
3. Sharks kill four people in “dull” year
4. Westminster Dog Show finalists form elite Iditarod team

Note: CNN headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Ancient boy’s skeleton sparks evolution debate
2. Mysterious Congressman announces dark horse candidacy
3. Thousands lose jobs as Michigan unemployment offices close
4. World’s oldest newspaper now exists only online

Note: CNN Headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN.com and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Ailing Castro begins 750,000 last words
2. Lasers and radars pack cars in robotic garage
3. Pentagon halts sales of F-14 parts
4. White House quietly retracts entire State of the Union address

Note: CNN Headlines taken from front page of CNN.com; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

Below are two headlines from CNN and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Bush rushing to get nation in order before Hu Jintao’s visit
2. Golfing parakeet gains fame on Web
3. Northeast stunned by freak January snowfall
4. Senator on more troops: ‘We better be damn sure’

Note: CNN Headlines taken from front page; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?