This blog just reached 20,000 hits, and you know what that means. Yes, it’s time to break out the cake and SiteMeter counter.

For the record, the 20,000th hit came in at 9:48pm today from Waterville, Maine. The visitor came to read the post from March 25, 2007, discussing the last episode of Slings & Arrows.

It’s worth noting that the first 10,000 hits came between January 3, 2007 and December 16, 2007, while the second 10,000 hits came between December 16, 2007 and July 8, 2008. At this point in time, the blog’s Technorati ranking is 648,508.

Once again, many thanks to all who have visited. This is your day.

This blog just reached 10,000 hits. Huzzah! Huzzah! That’s 20,000 eyeballs! I guess it’s time to break out the cake and SiteMeter counter.

For the record, the 10,000th hit came in at 1:22pm today via a link from an English teacher’s webpage at Xavier High School, right here in New York City. The teacher is a former graduate student of mine. So here’s a big shout out to Mr. Cambras and his 9th and 10th grade students who I see are studying Romeo & Juliet, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth. (…and some other good stuff, too.) Welcome to all.

If this blog teaches you nothing else, it’s that studying great works of literature will allow you to take the letters from passages in those great works of literature, mix them around, and form new pieces of writing that kind of relate back to the original passage. And if you do that, then eventually 10,000 people will come to see them.

Yesterday’s Cake War prompted me to think about what Shakespeare had to say about pastries and revenge. I came up with the scene where Titus tells his enemies that he’s going to bake them into pies and serve them to their mother. Enjoy!

From Titus Andronicus:

Hark! villains, I will grind your bones to dust,
And with your blood and it I’ll make a paste;
And of the paste a coffin I will rear,
And make two pasties of your shameful heads;
And bid that strumpet, your unhallow’d dam,
Like to the earth swallow her own increase.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Initially, a Nonny Nu did hail my King Lear cake as unpalatable, until I had W flip her off on her site. A mad armada from both sides, we would post the worst insults.

So, our feud oath lasted a day. Tomorrow, I will know better. The cake had proved wiser than us all.

I can’t believe I’ve gone almost eleven months without a blogger feud. Let’s do this.

Nonny Nu (nonnynu dot blogspot dot com), a blogger who writes mainly about her cats, decides to throw some stones.

First, she uses a picture of my King Lear cake on a Happy Birthday posting on her blog, which is totally fine with me. But then she ends with this:

P.S. That isn’t the birthday cake. That’s just some photo I found on the web. But, can you believe some people are so serious and hoity toity as to quote Shakespeare on a birthday cake? No doubt, they will be having wine with it. *eyes*

Serious and hoity toity? I rather thought I was being whimsical and hoity toity. And what’s wrong with a little wine on your birthday?

That’s it, Crazy Cat Lady, I’m calling you out. Don’t you know it’s not nice to taunt a fellow blogger? Especially not one whom you have given temporary control over the image at the top of your blog? I just replaced it with this picture and you should just be glad I didn’t get all goatse.cx on you. (To my readers: If you don’t know what that is, just let it go.)

Let this be a warning to others. Rule number one: you do NOT mock the Shakespeare Teacher.

UPDATE: She’s got it fixed now, but for about eight hours today, her site looked like this.

UPDATE II: I just read through her comments, and she posted this image of a cake that has such a delicious self-referential paradox that even W.V.O. Quine would ask for seconds. (Who’s hoity toity now?) I think I’ll head over and offer a truce.

UPDATE III: The truce has been accepted, and what must be the shortest feud in Internet history has come to an end.

UPDATE IV: The one-day feud has now been immortalized in an anagram.

Last week’s Conundrum about kings named Henry reminded me of a Shakespeare final I gave about five years ago. This was for an advanced graduate course on Shakespeare, and I actually decided to give the final exam as a takehome. What’s more, the first five questions were True or False. Surprisingly, only two students got all five questions right. Sounds like quite a Conundrum to me…

TRUE or FALSE?

1. Twelfth Night is named after a holiday in December.

2. Gloucester (in King Lear) has two sons; the bastard one is named Edmund.

3. Katherine of Valois was wife to Henry V, mother to Henry VI, and grandmother to Henry VII.

4. Based on evidence in Hamlet, it is reasonable to assume that Shakespeare may have read at least some of the writings of Sigmund Freud.

5. The title of The Merchant of Venice refers to a Jewish merchant named Shylock.

I should point out that the five questions combined were ten percent of an exam that was ten percent of the final grade, so these questions alone were not enough to affect anyone’s final grade. I don’t believe in trying to trick students, but I felt that a takehome exam deserved a little extra bite. The rest of the exam was short answer and essay and was very straightforward.

Can anyone answer all five questions correctly?

I’m heading out later this morning to go see Ian McKellan in King Lear, so perhaps this would be a good day for a Lear-related anagram. Let’s see what happens if I rearrange Lear’s powerful storm monologue into a glib weather forecast.

From King Lear:

Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!
You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
Till you have drench’d our steeples, drown’d the cocks!
You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,
Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
Strike flat the thick rotundity o’ the world!
Crack nature’s moulds, all germens spill at once
That make ingrateful man!

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Now, the AccuLuck rundown. AccuLuck has a glacial tornado-threshold unsure storm advisory tomorrow. We suggest to shun rain and lack hail. Shut up in a lovely daughter’s house. Thursday’s outlooks have staler luck with a sure percent chance of buckling king madness by lunch, but a likely redemption tilt at night. Friday, expect cutthroat deaths and restored order in time for the long weekend.

Yesterday, I hosted a reading of King Lear. It happened to be my birthday, so I wanted to get a cake. But since it was a King Lear reading and not a birthday party, I wanted to get a cake that would be King Lear appropriate. Here’s what I came up with:

Fortunately, my friends have a more traditional sense of birthday practice, and surprised me with a proper birthday cake:

Chocolate cake, vanilla cake, friends, and a King Lear reading: who could ask for a better birthday?

The Shakespeare Geek points us towards a blog called The Master of Verona and a post he has about Macbeth’s “Tomorrow and tomorrow” speech. He suggests that Macbeth may be reading a suicide note written by Lady Macbeth, possibly written while she was asleep. I love the idea, and he gives strong textual support to make his case. I would look at this more as a bold directoral choice, rather than an argument that this is the way the text demands it must be, but that seems to be largely where he’s coming from as well.

If you look at that scene from the Folio (via the wonderful Furness Collection at the University of Pennyslvania), you may notice that Seyton doesn’t have an exit. Editors generally have provided him with one. But in the original, there is a cry of women, Macbeth has a speech, he asks Seyton “Wherefore was that cry?”, and Seyton responds “The Queen, my lord, is dead.” How does he know? I’ve heard the argument that Seyton is a dark, supernatural being (with a deliberate play on his name), but he’s always struck me as too minor of a character to carry this much import. This reading would add another interpretation. Someone has brought Seyton the suicide note while Macbeth is talking. Then, he hands Macbeth the note as he says his line.

Fun stuff. And I’ve been looking through this guy’s archives. His last post is some Shakespeare limericks. Earlier on, he gets snippy with Slings & Arrows because he takes issue with the character’s interpretations of the Shakespeare. And even earlier he casts the kids in South Park in King Lear and all-Muppet productions of both Lear and Much Ado.

Oh, I so have a new blog to read.

At the risk of appearing like I’m trying to out-geek the Shakespeare Geek, here’s another list.

You’ve seen my top 25 favorite plays and my top 25 favorite scenes (then expanded to 50). Here are my top 50 favorite characters (or groups of characters) from Shakespeare’s plays at the present moment. Enjoy! And feel free to add to the conversation, especially if I’ve left some of your favorites out!

50. The Nurse (Romeo and Juliet) - The play may be a tragedy, but the Nurse is one of the great comic roles in Shakespeare.

49. The Duke of York (Richard the Second) - The remaining son of Edward III is so loyal to the King, he’ll turn in his own son as a traitor.

48. Sir Toby Belch (Twelfth Night) - Think Falstaff without the good manners. Half the time he’s plotting; the other half he’s drunk.

47. The Prince of Morocco & The Prince of Arragon (The Merchant of Venice) - It’s hard to tell which of these two suitors to Portia is more unsuitable, or more hilarious.

46. Dogberry (Much Ado About Nothing) - The muddled constable of the watch who bumbles his way into uncovering the evil plot!

45. Helena (All’s Well That Ends Well) - I’ll never understand what a quality woman like Helena sees in a loser like Bertram. Sigh.

44. Richard the Second (Richard the Second) - Too much philosopher, not enough king. But divine right is divine right. Isn’t it?

43. Philip the Bastard (King John) - When you’re already a bastard, who cares what people think of you? Certainly not Philip.

42. Polonius (Hamlet) - He may be a rash, intruding, doddering old fool, but his madness has a method to it. I think.

41. Beatrice and Benedick (Much Ado About Nothing) - You can’t have one without the other. Sharp banter hiding a deep affection - very cool.

40. Portia (The Merchant of Venice) - Unlike some love interests, Portia is actually worth the winning, and not just for her money.

39. Puck (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) - The mischievous sprite who doesn’t mind helping mortals at times, as long as it’s funny.

38. Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet) - The madcap kinsman to the Prince is a grave man when caught between the two houses.

37. Lucio (Measure for Measure) - This guy is a riot from beginning to end, but slandering the Duke to his disguised face rules.

36. Marc Antony (Multiple plays) - His funeral oration is a masterpiece, but his most powerful line? “I am dying, Egypt, dying.”

35. Viola (Twelfth Night) - Her disguise-as-a-boy plan plunges her in over her head, but she handles it all with grace.

34. Brutus (Julius Caesar) - This was the noblest Roman of them all, deeply conflicted and ultimately his own undoing.

33. Cloten (Cymbeline) - Proud, arrogant, foolish, entitled, and a bully, Cloten is nothing but a suit and a title. Fun!

32. The Earl of Kent (King Lear) - Deeply loyal to the King who has banished him, Kent has something to teach us all.

31. Malvolio (Twelfth Night) - He didn’t really deserve what he got in the play, but he is a Puritan, after all.

30. Jacques (As You Like It) - He’s probably bipolar, but he’s a deep thinker and a keen observer of the human condition.

29. Caliban (The Tempest) - Caliban’s antics are a lot of fun, but I’m more interested in his backstory and its meaning.

28. The Weird Sisters (Macbeth) - Do you think the three witches predict the future? Or do they cause it?

27. Tranio (The Taming of the Shrew) - A servant, who we mostly see playing gentleman. At the end, he’s back to waiting tables.

26. Lewis the Dauphin (Henry the Fifth) - We’re shown Henry’s suitability to be the next French king by seeing a weak Dauphin.

25. Isabella (Measure for Measure) - After all she’s been through, the Duke gives her one final impossible test. She passes.

24. Petruchio & Katherine (The Taming of the Shrew) - When an irresistible force meets an immovable object, somethin’s gotta give…

23. Emilia (Othello) - She’d make her husband a cuckold to make him a king, but won’t cover for his wickedness.

22. Iachimo (Cymbeline) - This “Little Iago” is clever and dishonest, and starts up way more trouble than he means to.

21. Enobarbus (Antony and Cleopatra) - A loyal soldier who can’t support Antony’s self-destructive course, and dies of shame.

20. Goneril & Regan (King Lear) - The wicked ones turn on their father, their husbands, their sister, and finally, each other.

19. Jack Cade (Henry the Sixth, Part Two) - This rough-hewn pretender to the throne would abolish money and kill all the lawyers.

18. Helena (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) - My heart just goes out to Helena, who is such a sweet person and gets rotten treatment.

17. Prospero (The Tempest) - The Duke of Milan, and wise old master of knowledge, books, and the elements of nature.

16. Hamlet (Hamlet) - The melancholy Dane helps us understand that murky place between thought and action.

15. Queen Margaret (Multiple plays) - With an amazing character arc that spans four plays, Margaret puts the “It” back in bitch.

14. Rosalind (As You Like It) - Let’s face it - Rosalind carries the whole plot on force of personality. We like her, so it works.

13. Macbeth (Macbeth) - From noble warrior to homicidal maniac, Macbeth experiences an incredible transformation.

12. Bottom (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) - The megalomaniac actor! We can all recognize him, but do we recognize ourselves in him?

11. Cleopatra (Antony and Cleopatra) - She’s a strong, empowered woman who’s not above using sex as a political tactic.

10. Edmund (King Lear) - A charming villain - all honor on the outside, and evil on the inside. What a bastard!

9. Othello (Othello) - A complex and passionate character, who loved (and trusted) not wisely, but too well.

8. Sir John Falstaff (Multiple plays) - A drunk, a theif, a liar, a glutton, and a pure hedonist. And those are his good points.

7. Duke of Gloucester/ Richard the Third (Multiple plays) - Since he cannot prove a lover, he is determined to prove a villain!

6. Shylock (The Merchant of Venice) - The Jewish moneylender may be the villain, but Shakespeare shows us his human side.

5. King Lear (King Lear) - Is dying the worst thing that can happen? What about having it all and watching it fade?

4. Prince Hal/ Henry the Fifth (Multiple plays) - Shakespeare traces England’s great hero from his wayward youth to his victory in France.

3. Lady Macbeth (Macbeth) - An equal partner in evil to Macbeth, and a force to be reckoned with. But then she breaks.

2. The Fool (King Lear) - The Fool balances that fine line between jesting clown, and sharp commentator on events.

1. Iago (Othello) - The hands-down, pure evil incarnate, puppet master general. But why does he do it?

Based on the overwhelming response to yesterday’s post listing my top five and twenty favorite scenes from Shakespeare, I’ve decided to post my next five and twenty favorite scenes from Shakespeare. The standard disclaimers apply.

50. Antony and Cleopatra: Act 5, Scene 2
The captured Cleopatra has been placed on suicide watch. But she has a poisonous asp smuggled in, and delivers the fatal wound to her bosom. “Does thou not see the baby at my breast,/That sucks the nurse asleep?”

49. Macbeth: Act 5, Scene 5
In the heat of battle preparations, Macbeth receives news that his wife has died. He allows himself a reflective moment where he ponders the meaninglessness of brief life. And for that moment, we remember that this monster was once a human being with the capacity for reason and love.

48. Richard the Third: Act 3, Scene 7
In the final stages of his plan to seize the crown, Richard orchestrates a show where his friends and lackeys beg him to be king, and he says no. Finally, he relents. “I am not made of stone.”

47. Henry the Fourth, Part Two: Act 5, Scene 5
Now that his buddy Prince Hal has become King Henry the Fifth, Falstaff thinks that he’s going to play a very important role in the new administration. Falstaff has another think coming.

46. As You Like It: Act 3, Scene 2
This is a somewhat varied scene, and a lot of fun things happen in it, but the main point is that, having discovered that Orlando is writing love poems to her and hanging them on trees in the forest, Rosalind decides to allow him to believe she is a boy, and offers to cure him of his love by pretending to be his love.

45. Henry the Sixth, Part One: Act 2, Scene 4
In the Temple garden, partisans of the King and of Richard Plantagenet pluck red and white roses respectively to show their support. Could this lead to war? And what might we call such a war?

44. Macbeth: Act 1, Scene 3
Returning from battle, Banquo and Macbeth are greeted by three witches who predict that Macbeth will become Thane of Cawdor and then King. Then, messengers from the King arrive and tell Macbeth he has just been named Thane of Cawdor. Things that make you go hmmm…

43. Hamlet: Act 3, Scene 2
Unsure whether or not to trust the ghost’s word, Hamlet stages a play mirroring the circumstances of his father’s death, so he can watch his uncle’s reaction. Does the plan work? Big time. And Hamlet’s famous advice to the players is in this scene, too.

42. Henry the Sixth, Part One: Act 4, Scene 5
The great Lord Talbot fears that his forces will be defeated in tomorrow’s battle. So he sends for his son, young John Talbot, and tells him to flee before the battle. John refuses, and they debate in rhymed couplets. It’s not a long scene - go read it.

41. King Lear: Act 1, Scene 4
The banished Kent returns in disguise and offers to serve Lear. We meet the Fool, whose jests reveal both a fondness for Lear and a bitter disapproval of his actions. Lear’s curse on Goneril at the end makes the scene extraordinary.

40. Henry the Fifth: Act 2, Scene 2
Henry has discovered three traitors among his officers. Before revealing this, he asks them what the penalty should be for traitors. His own oratory in this scene is powerful.

39. Julius Caesar: Act 4, Scene 3
Brutus and Cassius, having murdered Caesar, now lead an army against his partisans. In this scene, the growing tensions between them explode, and lead to an unexpected outcome.

38. Henry the Fourth, Part Two: Act 4, Scene 5
Prince Hal finds his father asleep, assumes he’s dead, and helps himself to the crown. When Hal returns, Dad’s awake, and the two of them have at it. And at the end of the scene, the prophecy he’s been talking about since like two plays ago is fulfilled.

37. Othello: Act 4, Scene 3
A quiet scene between Emilia and Desdemona before all hell breaks loose. This is a study in contrast between the innocent naif Desdemona and the world-wise Emelia.

36. Macbeth: Act 5, Scene 1
Lady Macbeth has been a rock through all of the killing and deception that put her husband on the throne. But now she’s sleepwalking, and everything comes out. Except for that spot of blood.

35. King John: Act 4, Scene 1
King John has sent Hubert to murder the young Arthur to eliminate his challenge to the throne. But the boy talks Hubert out of it. Shakespeare wrote this play after losing his own young son to the plague.

34. Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 2
Well, what can I say? It’s the balcony scene.

33. Much Ado About Nothing: Act 4, Scene 1
Hero is disgraced by Claudio at their wedding and her cousin Beatrice is beside herself. Claudio’s friend Benedick stays to comfort her. And amid this emotional turmoil, they confess their feelings for each other. He tells her he’ll do anything for her. Her response: “Kill Claudio.”

32. Hamlet: Act 5, Scene 2
Talk about a big finish. This scene is so imprinted on our collective psyche that it almost turns invisible when making a list like this. Almost.

31. Julius Caesar: Act 3, Scene 1
I really like the pacing of the lines just before the assassination. After the deed, the killers are so sure of history’s favorable judgment. And finally comes Antony’s stirring monologue. But my favorite part of this scene is the first two lines.

30. The Taming of the Shrew: Act 2, Scene 1
The first meeting between Petruchio and Kate. Need I say more?

29. King Lear: Act 4, Scene 7
Lear is rescued by and reunited with the daughter he banished. His mind is nearly gone by now, but as he begins to recognize her, he is deeply ashamed of his earlier behavior.

28. Macbeth: Act 3, Scene 4
King Macbeth sees the murdered Banquo at a banquet, but nobody else can see him. Is this the ghost of Banquo come to haunt him, or another hallucination brought on by guilt?

27. Twelfth Night: Act 1, Scene 5
Here we see the first meeting between Olivia and the disguised Viola. At first, Olivia toys with the youth, but then realizes that there’s more to this young “man” than meets the eye.

26. Richard the Second: Act 4, Scene 1
Richard’s reluctant abdication paints a portrait of a man who never asked to be king, but can’t quite give it up. It’s a moment in English history that sparked enough strife for no less than eight Shakespearean histories.

The Top Five and Twenty