Real life or parody? Sometimes, I can’t tell the difference anymore.

Below are two headlines from CNN and two headlines from The Onion. Can you spot which are the real headlines and which are the fakes?

1. Bush rushing to get nation in order before Hu Jintao’s visit
2. Golfing parakeet gains fame on Web
3. Northeast stunned by freak January snowfall
4. Senator on more troops: ‘We better be damn sure’

Note: CNN Headlines taken from front page; headline of actual story may differ. Capitalization on the Onion headlines changed to match CNN.

Answers: Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Story 4

How did you do?

When you think about it, this is really a revolutionary technology.

Before the Internet, all of the mass media of the 20th century required a great deal of wealth to buy into. Whether it was the national newspaper, the radio, the moving picture, broadcast television, or cable television, only those who were in control of vast sums of wealth could afford to get their message out, which, not surprisingly, favored the interests of wealth. So for a long time, that was the only message that most people were getting.

But with the Internet, anybody can freely post their opinions. Now we truly can move toward an open and democratic exchange of political ideas without the corporate filter defining the terms of acceptable discourse. Even I can have my little piece of real estate and post anything I choose.

I choose to post a video of some guys reenacting the Death Star trench scene from Star Wars with their hands.

Well, yesterday was Blog for Choice Day, and I missed it. That in itself wouldn’t be so bad, but I just happened to write a flattering post about a pro-life Republican that day, so it hurts all the more.

I guess the millions of other pro-choice blogs out there covered the issue pretty well without me, and as always, The Onion makes the point as well as anyone. So I don’t really have much more to add to the conversation.

But one thing I’ve never understood is people who call themselves “pro-life” who support the death penalty. I mean, if we respect human life, doesn’t that mean all human lives, regardless of whether or not they share our respect for it? Isn’t respect for life more about how we act than it is about what they deserve?

Feel free to disagree, but then let’s knock off the “culture of life” rhetoric.

The Texas Department of Criminal Justice maintains a website of all of their executed offenders, including name, crime, and last statement. It’s a chilling collection, and is almost certain to reinforce whatever beliefs you already have about the death penalty.

I have on occasion been called unpatriotic.

This is, of course, a highly offensive charge. The integrity of one’s patriotism is a precious jewel that must be protected. Someone who is unpatriotic is a non-person. Someone who is unpatriotic is a potential terrorist. Someone who is unpatriotic should be detained for questioning.

But lately, I’ve been questioning the idea of patriotism. What is it, actually? Love for one’s country? Okay. And then what?

I believe in American values. I love the philosophy that all people are created equal. I love the idea of a melting pot of cultures. I love living in a country that is ruled by the majority will of the people, while still protecting the rights of the minority and the individual. Does that make me patriotic?

I think America sometimes does bad things in the world and I think we should stop. I think our current leadership is reckless and irresponsible when yielding American power. I think that we have made a lot of progress in securing the rights for all of our people, but we still have a considerable way to go. Does that make me unpatriotic?

I was against the Iraq War. Did that make me unpatriotic? I’m still against it. Does that make me patriotic?

Does being patriotic mean valuing American lives over lives of non-Americans? If so, is patriotism really something to be respected and admired? Does patriotism for people in other countries mean valuing the lives of their countrymen over Americans? If so, is patriotism still something to be respected and admired?

I would hate to think that something as important and cherished as patriotism was only admirable within one’s own country. That would make it shallow and meaningless, and patriotism is much too important for that. Who do we want to be patriotic? Can patriotism be criticized in those whose nations have committed horrible atrocities in the past? What about when we’ve been that nation?

Are these light and airy questions of no consequence, asked by a sheltered academic who takes for granted the comfortable freedoms provided by his country? Or do our answers to these questions affect our policies – who we allow to cross our borders, what standards we apply to the decision to go to war, how we structure international trade, how we respond to human suffering abroad – making them of the utmost importance?

And does even asking these questions make me unpatriotic? Or is asking difficult questions in a democratic society highly patriotic?

So with all of that in mind, the Question of the Week is this:

What does patriotism mean to you?

I stand by my earlier statements about 2008, including the fact that it’s way too early to start speculating about who our next president is going to be in any meaningful way. But it’s not too early to take an interest in the potential candidates.

And I guess it would make sense to start with a Republican I like, since that’s an endangered species and I try to be fair and balanced.

There has been some talk about a Chuck Hagel run in 2008. If we absolutely must have a Republican candidate, I think we could do a lot worse.

I particularly like how he’s willing to go on the television and say things like this:

SCHEIFFER: Let me ask you this, Senator. Vice President Cheney says this sort of thing undercuts the troops. What’s your response?

HAGEL: Let me tell you this. I served in Vietnam in 1968. Others did too. Jim Webb, John McCain. John Kerry. Other members in the House. In 1968 when I was there with my brother, worst year, deaths, I would have welcomed the Congress of the United States to pay a little attention as to what was going on. I would have welcomed that. That is complete nonsense to say we’re undercutting the support of the troops. What are we about? We’re Article 1 of the Constitution. We are co-equal branch of government. Are we not to participate? Are we not to say anything? Are we not to register our sense of where we’re going in this country on foreign policy? Bottom line is this: our young men and women and their families, these young men and women who are asked to fight and die deserve a policy worthy of those sacrifices. I don’t think we have one now.

It’s rare to find a Republican willing to be vocal in opposition to the policies of the Bush administration. And he’s been willing to do that for some time now. In other words, he is willing to put country over party.

Now, you shouldn’t take this as an endorsement. There’s no way I could vote for him. He’s still a Republican and he votes like one. But I do think he has wisdom and integrity. And those are two important things we’re lacking in our present-day leadership.

But what kind of president would he make? There’s no way of knowing. The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk.

Be sure to check out the Tracked in America website, posted by the ACLU, tracing how surveillance techniques have been used to monitor citizens and residents of the United States since World War I. 

It’s a good resource for educators and students, or anyone interested in American history, regardless of where you stand on the privacy issue.

First, read the rules of the game.

I had to change the rules this week, after realizing that England links to Sir Francis Bacon, and I didn’t want the game to turn into Five Degrees of England. Now you can only link through individuals, which I think will make it feel more like the original Kevin Bacon game.

This week’s challenge will be our old buddy Bert.

Bert can be linked to Sir Francis Bacon in six degrees, though that shouldn’t stop you from posting a longer response, or looking for a shorter one. Entries will be accepted until midnight on Friday, January 26.

Good luck!

And congratulations to Ro for winning last week’s challenge by linking Genghis Khan to Sir Francis Bacon in five degrees (before the rules changed):

Genghis Khan > Mongol Empire > China > Gunpowder > Four Great Inventions of ancient China > Sir Francis Bacon

I link, therefore I am.

Descartes notwithstanding, proof of existence in the blogosphere is not provided by who you link to, but who links to you. I now have my first incoming link, which according to Technorati boosts my rating from the 2.4 million range into the 1.6 million range. So Shakespeare Teacher is now one of the top 2 million blogs in the world. I will be signing autographs in the lobby after the post.

So, who linked to me? It was Stick Figure Hamlet Guy. I linked to him, and he linked back to me. And now I jumped up 800,000 places in Technorati. I’m starting to understand how this works.

I don’t know why the link from Such Shakespeare Stuff didn’t register on Technorati. Why, with two links, who knows? I might have cracked the top million! Well, I can still dream. And thanks for the link, Stick Figure Hamlet Guy!

Your move, Latte Foam Artist Guy.

In a sport, I’m offensive; in love, I’m much worse;
I’m a blessing in flight; in the ocean, a curse;
I keep straight in the pool hall; I’m gay when inverse;
And in musical groups, I need hardly rehearse.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Paw Lee. See comments for answer.

Now, the gloves come off.

I’ve blogged about gay muppets, the Iraq War, and the sexual proclivities of a certain 13th century Mongolian conqueror who shall remain nameless, but now I’m ready to tackle some real controversy. Read on, but please use discretion.

I have a group that meets once a month to do readings of Shakespeare’s plays. This past weekend, we read The Winter’s Tale.

Now, I’ve never been a big fan of The Winter’s Tale. But a lot of serious Shakespeare fans list it among their favorites, which leads me to believe there’s more there than I’m seeing, and perhaps I will like it more when I’ve given it more attention. I don’t know. Events seem to happen haphazardly and without cause. The characters give me no reason to want to wish them well. And I feel kind of cheated that the reunion of the king with his daughter is presented second-hand in an exposition scene, rather than the brilliant dialogue Shakespeare could have chosen to write.

The play is usually classified as a “Romance” which is a lesser-known Shakespearean genre (compared to Comedy, Tragedy, and History) that Shakespeare experimented with late in his career. It is believed that he started with Pericles and Cymbeline (not usually considered among his best works), gradually improved the form in The Winter’s Tale, and finally created The Tempest, which is usually considered to be the finest of his works in the genre. Romances (as they are found in Shakespeare) are generally characterized by fairy tale elements such as long-lost relatives; gods, spirits, and other supernatural elements; and exploring a relationship with nature. Intrestingly enough, the Comedy As You Like It, written much earlier, contains all of these elements, but is never classified as a Romance (though it is sometimes classified, by itself, as a Pastoral). But the Romances Cymbeline and The Winter’s Tale in particular are very closely connected by their treatment of these elements.

Which leads me to my point. I think that Cymbeline is a much better play than The Winter’s Tale, but doesn’t get nearly the respect. Cymbeline has a beautiful fairy-tale quality, better poetic language, more human characters, a logical (albeit far-fetched) structured motivated plot, a clear moral code of values, and a satisfying ending. Imogen is one of the great female roles in Shakespeare, and — I know this is heresy — Hermione is not.

Oh, yeah. I went there.

Most memorable moment of Cymbeline? The funeral dirge:

Fear no more the heat o’ the sun,
Nor the furious winter’s rages;
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages;
Golden lads and girls all must,
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.

Most memorable moment of The Winter’s Tale? A stage direction:

Exit, pursued by a bear.

Look, I don’t hate The Winter’s Tale. I just don’t understand why it holds a special place in the hearts of so many, when Cymbeline doesn’t. The plays are closely connected, so I think it’s fair to compare the two. I wouldn’t try to compare, say, Othello with A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but I can say this:

Cymbeline is a much better play than The Winter’s Tale.

Does anybody have a problem with that?

All visitors to the blog who are familiar with both plays are welcome to debate the issue in the comments section of this post. If a lively discussion ensues (and how could it possibly not?), I will jump in and defend my position.