{"id":4229,"date":"2013-04-19T22:14:58","date_gmt":"2013-04-20T03:14:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/?p=4229"},"modified":"2017-08-20T15:25:59","modified_gmt":"2017-08-20T20:25:59","slug":"shakespeare-song-parody-the-bastard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/archives\/4229","title":{"rendered":"Shakespeare Song Parody: The Bastard"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is the 32nd in a series<\/a> of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.<\/p>\n

Enjoy!<\/p>\n

The Bastard<\/strong>
\nbased on the song “Jack Sparrow”<\/p>\n

(With apologies to Lonely Island, Michael Bolton, and the Walt Disney corporation…)<\/p>\n

[Messina: Don Pedro, Don John, Leonato, Claudio, Benedick]<\/p>\n

P: Signior Claudio, and Signior Benedick, my
\ndear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell
\nhim we shall stay here at the least a month,
\nand he heartily prays some occasion may
\ndetain us longer.<\/p>\n

L: Let me bid you welcome, my lord:
\nbeing reconciled to the prince your
\nbrother, I owe you all duty.<\/p>\n

J: I thank you:
\nI am not of many words,
\nbut I thank you.<\/p>\n

L: Please it your Grace lead on? [Exit]<\/p>\n

J: Boys, let\u2019s get to it\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

P: Here we go\u2026<\/p>\n

B: Claudio, Benedick, Don Pedro, Don John\u2026<\/p>\n

J: Yeah!<\/p>\n

C: The night starts now\u2026<\/p>\n

B: On Leonato\u2019s tract,
\nThe boys are back!<\/p>\n

C: The night starts now!<\/p>\n

B: Night starts now,
\n\u2018Cause we\u2019re back from the war;
\nYou know we\u2019re all gearing up
\nFor a little R&R.<\/p>\n

J: Yeah, yeah!<\/p>\n

P: My soldiers proved to be the paragon
\nOf defenders of the Kingdom of Aragon.<\/p>\n

J: Come on!<\/p>\n

C: Enemy retreating
\nAs we\u2019re taking to the field;
\nAll the rebels quake and tremble
\nAnd they\u2019re quickly gonna yield.
\nSword in my hand, and a pistol I\u2019ve got;
\nYou\u2019ll either get cut, get stabbed, or get shot.<\/p>\n

J: This is the tale
\nOf Don John the Bastard;
\nStood up to the prince,
\nAnd challenged his place.<\/p>\n

B: What?<\/p>\n

J: Now he\u2019s taken back,
\nTrusted with a muzzle;
\nBetter a canker in his hedge,
\nThan a rose in his grace.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

P: Yeah, that was kind of weird,
\nBut we\u2019re here catching up;
\nWe\u2019re soldiers back from war,
\nAnd now our thoughts have turned to love.<\/p>\n

J: Misbegotten.<\/p>\n

C: I have set my sights
\nOn Leonato\u2019s daughter;
\nI liked before the war,
\nBut in peace I think I got her.<\/p>\n

J: Half-blooded.<\/p>\n

B:Watch it girl, cause I ain\u2019t
\nYour \u201cgetting wed\u201d guy,
\nMore like the \u201cinsult you,
\nAnd then get inside your head\u201d guy.<\/p>\n

J: Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n

B: Beatrice and I
\nHave been in a merry war,
\nBut to be perfectly honest, I\u2026<\/p>\n

J: Now back to the good part!<\/p>\n

From the day he was born,
\nHe wore the bar sinister.<\/p>\n

B: No!<\/p>\n

J: In his melancholy face,
\nIs a mouth that would bite.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s the black sheep of the clan,
\nThe trickster of Messina.<\/p>\n

P: Uh huh.<\/p>\n

J: But knowing his ill birth,
\nCan you begrudge him his fight?<\/p>\n

B: Yeah, we know what a bastard is.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

P: Put the war in the past
\nAnd forgive old debts, come on.<\/p>\n

J: Illegitimate.<\/p>\n

B: What?<\/p>\n

J: Love child.<\/p>\n

C: No!<\/p>\n

P: It\u2019s a time for mirth,
\nSo don\u2019t dwell on birth, come on.<\/p>\n

J: Nullius filius.<\/p>\n

B: Nope.<\/p>\n

J: Bastard-born.<\/p>\n

B: Wrong.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

C: Don John, we\u2019re really gonna need you to focus up.<\/p>\n

J: Roger that, let me show you what I mean.<\/p>\n

B: Wait.<\/p>\n

J: The prince says he\u2019s on your side,
\nBut it\u2019s really just a ruse.<\/p>\n

P: Not true.<\/p>\n

J: He wants to win her for himself,
\nAnd that is why he woos.<\/p>\n

B: Come on.<\/p>\n

J: Okay, then pull my finger;
\nWatch hilarity ensue.<\/p>\n

C: No, thank you.<\/p>\n

J: Then please allow me to imply
\nThat your lady\u2019s been untrue.<\/p>\n

C: Wait, what?<\/p>\n

J: (If I can cross him any way,
\nI bless myself every way.)<\/p>\n

This is the tale
\nOf your mistress Hero;
\nTake her to wife,
\nAnd a cuckold you\u2019ll be!<\/p>\n

B: Take it home.<\/p>\n

J: Disloyal\u2019s too good
\nA word for the wicked;
\nFollow me tonight,
\nSo you all can see.<\/p>\n

C: Okay, turns out that Don John is a major bastard.<\/p>\n

J: My parents weren\u2019t married.<\/p>\n

B: Yup.<\/p>\n

P: Yeah, okay.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is the 32nd in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans. Enjoy! The Bastard based on the song “Jack Sparrow” (With apologies to Lonely Island, Michael Bolton, and the Walt Disney corporation…) [Messina: Don Pedro, Don John, Leonato, Claudio, Benedick] P: Signior Claudio, and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,124,48,78,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-much-ado","category-music","category-parody","category-shakespeare"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4229"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6481,"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229\/revisions\/6481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shakespeareteacher.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}