From Measure for Measure:

Hence shall we see,
If power change purpose, what our seemers be.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Push Obama, he now feels huge secret sweeper plans were heroic.

This is the 38th in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Blood Lines
sung to the tune of “Blurred Lines”

(With apologies to Robin Thicke, T.I., and Pharrell)

Come hither, Harry…

Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!

You took that crown
Before it was your time,
But you will find that
It was a minor crime.
In just a half an hour,
You’ll have that regal power,
Because I’m going to die.

Okay, that Jack Falstaff
Tried to contaminate you,
But you’re of royal blood.
It isn’t in your nature.

Just let me educate you (hey, hey, hey).
You don’t owe him favors (hey, hey, hey).
That man is not your greater (hey, hey, hey),
And that’s because your claim is…

Rightful.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
Your claim is rightful.
You want details.
You’re the Prince of Wales,
And that here prevails.

You’ve got the blood lines.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
Your claim is rightful.
I was King Harry;
Now you’re King Harry.
That name you’ll carry.

When you’re there aberrant,
It can scare a parent
Of the heir apparent;
You’re the next in line for the throne!
Your friend is poison (hey, hey, hey).
You can’t be loyal (hey, hey, hey).
What rhymes with loyal (hey, hey, hey)?

Okay, that Jack Falstaff
Tried to contaminate you,
But you’re of royal blood.
It isn’t in your nature.

Just let me educate you (hey, hey, hey).
You don’t owe him favors (hey, hey, hey).
That man is not your greater (hey, hey, hey),
And that’s because your claim is,,,

Rightful.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
Your claim is rightful.
You want details.
You’re the Prince of Wales,
And that here prevails.

You’ve got the blood lines.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
Your claim is rightful.
I was King Harry;
Now you’re King Harry.
That name you’ll carry.

One thing I ask of you:
That my final counsel you listen to,
From a dying king to his offspring.
I stole this crown, but here’s the thing:
I have to say as I pass it down,
My son, uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
With you, it will descend more quiet.
I mean, it’s still not easy, you try it.
Then, you must make my friends your friends.
Be it thy course to busy giddy minds
With foreign quarrels, that action hence bourne
Out, may waste the memory of the former days.
More would I, but my lungs are wasted so.
O, the Holy Land!
I won’t be going there as I had planned.
But this room is named Jerusalem, where I’ll meet my end.

Change the king, from Fourth to Fifth.
Do it quite forthwith, quite forthwith.
Now you’ll create a myth, hey!

Harry, can you lead?
I know that this is sudden.
You’re now the crowned monarch,
From Manchester to London, uh huh.
No more schooling (hey, hey, hey),
‘Cause now you’re ruling (hey, hey, hey),
And that’s no fooling (hey, hey, hey).

You know your claim is rightful.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
Your claim is rightful.
You want details.
You’re the Prince of Wales,
And that here prevails.

You’ve got the blood lines.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
You know you’ve got it.
Your claim is rightful.
I was King Harry;
Now you’re King Harry.
That name you’ll carry.

Now here I lie,
And here I die.
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey!

I sang Thanks to the troops and made Road films with Bing;
I’m the theme of the anthem Israelis might sing;
I’m Obama’s campaign cry; that fine feathered thing;
I’m belief in a dream, and eternal I spring!

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Bronx Richie. See comments for answer.

This is the 37th in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Timon
sung to the tune of “Diamonds”

(With apologies to Rihanna, and those planning to read Timon of Athens… SPOILERS!)

Pass by, cursed by Timon.
Pass by, cursed by Timon.

With joy, I would generous be,
Back when I was wealthy.
I ran dry, I ran dry,
I am Timon, here lie I.

I gave away my money,
A pathway to bankruptcy,
A wretched soul, while alive,
I am Timon, here lie I.

My money gone, my friends fled right away,
Oh, right away!
When I asked them to help me with my creditors,
Every one of them refused my pleas.

A plague consume you wicked caitiffs!
My epitaph: I’m Timon, here lie I.
A wretched soul, while alive,
My epitaph: I’m Timon, here lie I.

Pass by, cursed by Timon.
Pass by, cursed by Timon.
Pass by, cursed by Timon.
My epitaph: I’m Timon, here lie I.

Pass by, cursed by Timon.
Pass by, cursed by Timon.
Pass by, cursed by Timon.
My epitaph: I’m Timon, here lie I.

I can speak of the future, but not of the past;
I describe distribution of things you’ve amassed;
For a Smith, I’m a nickname; for George, I’m his last;
And the power of mind that can let you stand fast.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

I’m a game played by kids, when they’re done with Leapfrog;
I am worn by a soldier, a corpse, or a dog;
Category on Twitter, or here on the blog;
And the license plate number a driver must log.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

This is the 36th in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Courtships
sung to the tune of “Starships”

(With apologies to Nicki Minaj – she knows why…)

Touchtone
Went into the wood, could
Woo his Audrey,
And he said, they would wed, if she’d agree.
It was a nervous service, led by a vicar,
Which is unofficial, so he could leave her quicker.
But at least a priest wed them with us;
A contract is a fact, nothing to discuss.
As it turned out, they got along;
Three years gone by, and they’re still going strong.

Phebe’d abhor, abhor
Her would-be man:
A shepherd poor, poor,
She could not stand.
But she fell for, for,
My little scam,
Did what she swore, swore,
Now look at them!

Courtships, based on a lie,
You’d think would quickly die,
But may be worth a try;
It happens all the time.

Courtships, based on a lie,
You’d think would quickly die,
It happens all the time.
Worth a try…

A liar makes a lively lover!
A liar makes a lively lover!
A liar makes a lively lover!

Your brother met a shepherd girl;
He thought that.
Her simple manners won his heart;
He knew that.
But she was a princess; he didn’t get mad.
If you think it through, it isn’t so bad.
Blow, blow, thou winter wind.

Every honest lover has to say, say, say,
The complete truth and today’s that day,
Finally explain that resemblance uncanny,
My name was Rosalind, as you called me Gany.

So you fell for, for,
My little scam,
Did what you swore, swore,
And here I am!

Courtships, based on a lie,
You’d think would quickly die,
But may be worth a try;
It happens all the time.

Courtships, based on a lie,
You’d think would quickly die,
It happens all the time.
Worth a try…

A liar makes a lively lover!

I’m the window that’s lifted; the left-unlocked door;
I’m accessible source code; a functioning store;
I’m the mic that lets anyone take to the floor;
And when one band’s in concert, to play there before.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

From Pericles:

See how belief may suffer by foul show!
This borrow’d passion stands for true old woe.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Obsessed senators would drop a few of the bombs on Hillary, so her future is iffy.

Wow.

This is the 35th in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Legionnaire
sung to the tune of “Billionaire”

(With apologies to Travie McCoy and… Bruno Mars, again?)

You know I’ve been a legionnaire so very long.
A well-trained army keeps the empire strong.
I’ve fought in armed conflict for my native Rome,
Keeping all our people safe at home.

Oh, every time I close my eyes
I feel consumed with battle cries.
I’m always ready for a fight, alright.
I swear, my foes better prepare,
‘Cause I’m a legionnaire!

Yeah, I went against the Volscians,
Fighting alongside Cominius.
A fine Roman he is.
At Corioles, I took the lead on an attack.
At first, the enemy was able to beat us back.
Then I managed to break open the city gates,
Which as you would think sealed the Volscian’s fates.
I got a title for playing a heroic role.
You can call me Marcius, minus the Coriol.
Ha, ha, get it? I’d probably see if I could make a run
For a public office, like consul, imagine if I’d won.
Yeah, I’d be a big deal once I’m elected.
Everywhere I go I’d be feared and respected.

Oh, every time I close my eyes
I feel consumed with battle cries.
I’m always ready for a fight, alright.
I swear, my foes better prepare,
‘Cause I’m a legionnaire!

I’ll get the support of the Roman Senate,
Whipping up the delegates.
Then I’ll ask the plebes, only in the name of etiquette.
They’re not too important, but just for the heck of it.
The plebes and the patricians should be completely separate.
For crows to peck at eagles, I can’t really back it.
I’ve earned my accession, it’s too bad if you balk at it.
I see you take offense at this. I don’t really care,
And you want to banish me which is really unfair,
When I fought in your wars. Who are you to judge me,
Eating good, sleeping soundly?
And you think you can banish me?
I banish you, you’ll no longer have
Coriolanus to kick around.

You know I’ve been a legionnaire so very long.
A well-trained army keeps the empire strong.
I’ve fought in armed conflict for my native Rome,
Keeping all our people safe at home.

Oh, every time I close my eyes
I feel consumed with battle cries.
I’m always ready for a fight, alright.
I swear, Rome better prepare,
‘Cause I’m a legionnaire!

You know I’ve been a legionnaire so very long.