Shakespeare Song Parody: Lady, It’s Warm Outside

This is the 17th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Lady, It’s Warm Outside
sung to the tune of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

(With apologies to Cee-Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, and the many artists who have performed this seasonal classic duet…)

You venomous toad

Lady, it’s warm outside

Hey, just hit the road

Metaphorically warm outside

I’ve been left to lament

The winter of discontent

And I’m concerned

To glorious summer has turned

You’re a pitiless beast

Beautiful, that’s something at least

Give me leave to curse thyself

I feel even worse myself

And now I accuse thyself

Beautiful, I can’t excuse myself

May lightning strike you dead

These compliments will go to my head

My husband has died

Lady, not by my hand

But your regicide

That was not what I planned

You should be locked in a fetter

I know one place better

As I have said

It is beside you in your bed

I ought to say no, no, no, sir

Mind if I move in closer

Cursed be your future wife

Lady, I want it to be you in my life

I really can’t stay

Now, Lady, don’t storm out

‘Cause it’s warm outside

Now this king is dead

Your beauty gave me pause

And you killed my Ed

Your beauty was the cause

If I thought that

It really knocks me flat

My nails would rend

Don’t even start to pretend

My sister will disown me

Lady, have you ever really known me

My father will spin in his grave

In life, he was far more brave

It will dishonor my husband’s life

A better husband for his wife

I really don’t know what to say

You’ve nowhere else to go anyway

You deserve your reward

Lady, if you think it best

Say, lend me your sword

Drive it right through my chest

It’s not in me to kill

Say the word and I will

I have already said

In your rage, but now you have a clearer head

I wish I knew your heart

I will inter this king

You lied to me right from the start

Vouchsafe to wear this ring

I’m glad you have repented

I’m glad you have relented

‘Cause it’s warm outside

3 Responses to “Shakespeare Song Parody: Lady, It’s Warm Outside”

  1. Rick Rothstein Says:

    Sorry for using this comment area for my message, but I could not find a general method to contact you (Bill). While the following is not an exact Shakespeare quote, I think it is close enough that you will find it interesting. It is an “sentence anagram” in which the subject text and its anagram (those same letters rearranged), taken together, form a sentence (a tilde is used to “link” the subject and its anagram)… in this case a very near Shakespeare quote. That sentence anagram is this…

    “For the evil that men do ~ doth live on after them.”

    That anagram was submitted by me in 2005 to this site…

    http://www.anagrammy.com/forum/index.html

    a forum for submitting anagrams on any subject matters. Actually, the above anagram won the yearly competition the forum holds at the completion of the calendar year for 2005 in the General Category which can be seen at this results link…

    http://www.anagrammy.com/winners/grand2005.php

  2. Bill Says:

    That’s really cool. Thanks for sharing it!

    I’ve not seen a “sentence anagram” before, but it seems like something fun to play around with.

  3. Shakespeare Teacher » Blog Archive » Top Ten Posts of 2012 Says:

    [...] This year saw the genesis of a brand new regular feature on the blog, the Shakespeare Song Parody. I chose this Hamlet/Lady Gaga mash-up as a representative favorite. Runners-up included Agamemnon Style, The Death of Kings, and Lady, It’s Warm Outside. [...]

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