From Henry VI, Part One:

Alas, this is a child, a silly dwarf!
It cannot be this weak and writhled shrimp
Should strike such terror to his enemies.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Warlike hurts, or deaths we cry at, in Boston lie.

Discuss hardships with kids and let them cherish familial relations.

This is the 32nd in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

The Bastard
based on the song “Jack Sparrow”

(With apologies to Lonely Island, Michael Bolton, and the Walt Disney corporation…)

[Messina: Don Pedro, Don John, Leonato, Claudio, Benedick]

P: Signior Claudio, and Signior Benedick, my
dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell
him we shall stay here at the least a month,
and he heartily prays some occasion may
detain us longer.

L: Let me bid you welcome, my lord:
being reconciled to the prince your
brother, I owe you all duty.

J: I thank you:
I am not of many words,
but I thank you.

L: Please it your Grace lead on? [Exit]

J: Boys, let’s get to it…

P: Here we go…

B: Claudio, Benedick, Don Pedro, Don John…

J: Yeah!

C: The night starts now…

B: On Leonato’s tract,
The boys are back!

C: The night starts now!

B: Night starts now,
‘Cause we’re back from the war;
You know we’re all gearing up
For a little R&R.

J: Yeah, yeah!

P: My soldiers proved to be the paragon
Of defenders of the Kingdom of Aragon.

J: Come on!

C: Enemy retreating
As we’re taking to the field;
All the rebels quake and tremble
And they’re quickly gonna yield.
Sword in my hand, and a pistol I’ve got;
You’ll either get cut, get stabbed, or get shot.

J: This is the tale
Of Don John the Bastard;
Stood up to the prince,
And challenged his place.

B: What?

J: Now he’s taken back,
Trusted with a muzzle;
Better a canker in his hedge,
Than a rose in his grace.

P: Yeah, that was kind of weird,
But we’re here catching up;
We’re soldiers back from war,
And now our thoughts have turned to love.

J: Misbegotten.

C: I have set my sights
On Leonato’s daughter;
I liked before the war,
But in peace I think I got her.

J: Half-blooded.

B:Watch it girl, cause I ain’t
Your “getting wed” guy,
More like the “insult you,
And then get inside your head” guy.

J: Yeah, yeah.

B: Beatrice and I
Have been in a merry war,
But to be perfectly honest, I…

J: Now back to the good part!

From the day he was born,
He wore the bar sinister.

B: No!

J: In his melancholy face,
Is a mouth that would bite.

He’s the black sheep of the clan,
The trickster of Messina.

P: Uh huh.

J: But knowing his ill birth,
Can you begrudge him his fight?

B: Yeah, we know what a bastard is.

P: Put the war in the past
And forgive old debts, come on.

J: Illegitimate.

B: What?

J: Love child.

C: No!

P: It’s a time for mirth,
So don’t dwell on birth, come on.

J: Nullius filius.

B: Nope.

J: Bastard-born.

B: Wrong.

C: Don John, we’re really gonna need you to focus up.

J: Roger that, let me show you what I mean.

B: Wait.

J: The prince says he’s on your side,
But it’s really just a ruse.

P: Not true.

J: He wants to win her for himself,
And that is why he woos.

B: Come on.

J: Okay, then pull my finger;
Watch hilarity ensue.

C: No, thank you.

J: Then please allow me to imply
That your lady’s been untrue.

C: Wait, what?

J: (If I can cross him any way,
I bless myself every way.)

This is the tale
Of your mistress Hero;
Take her to wife,
And a cuckold you’ll be!

B: Take it home.

J: Disloyal’s too good
A word for the wicked;
Follow me tonight,
So you all can see.

C: Okay, turns out that Don John is a major bastard.

J: My parents weren’t married.

B: Yup.

P: Yeah, okay.

I’m a large sturdy box you can bountifully pack;
I’m a car’s handy storage that’s found in the back;
I’m the thick wooden prize for a strong lumberjack;
And an elephant’s nose that makes peanut shells crack.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

Last night, PBS and the Folger Shakespeare Library hosted a Twitter party, a real-time online conversation about teaching Shakespeare with experts from the Folger and teachers from across the country. It was a great opportunity to connect with like-minded educators and share innovative practices, although, because it was on Twitter, the party was most definitely BYOB.

I had the opportunity to share a cool project I did two years ago, and I realized that I never actually posted the final product here. Long-time readers may remember my working with a class of sixth-grade students on Antony and Cleopatra back in the spring of 2011. The students were learning about ancient Egypt in social studies, and it was a good opportunity to make connections in ELA. We did in-class readings of selected scenes and discussed how they relate to our lives and world today.

One thing that made this project a little different was that we used an online Moodle classroom to manage our unit. This school happened to be part of two unrelated projects, one that gave the students laptops in school and another that gave them desktops at home, so it was a perfect environment to experiment with blended learning models for teaching Shakespeare. I uploaded links to the scenes and additional resources we could draw from to increase our understanding, as well as message boards for each lesson, so students could continue discussing the themes of the lesson beyond the school day.

Once we finished the play, we discussed our project. My thinking was that we would make a video. The kids thought the play was like a soap opera (and that Cleopatra was a “drama queen”!) and that seemed to be a promising thread for a while. But the more we talked about the project, the more the kids wanted to go another way. They decided that they wanted to retell the story of Antony and Cleopatra through social media, which later got refined into the idea of creating Cleopatra’s Facebook page during the events of the play. The students were too young to actually go on Facebook, so our project would be an offline mock-up.

I set up an area on the Moodle classroom where students could brainstorm ideas as well as post their favorite lines from the play. We broke up into five groups, and each was assigned a different act. Each group also designed a tableau to represent their act. Actors volunteered, and were chosen to select their preferred part by random lot. We found various locations around the school to take pictures of our tableaux and Facebook profile headshots. Our costume scheme was simple: “Romans are Red, Egyptians are Blue, Cleopatra wears White, and the snake does too.” The snake, by the way, was a real snake generously lent by the science teacher, though it made our Cleopatra skittish. The actor who played the clown had the idea that he would photobomb the earlier pictures, and then appear completely serious in the final image.

Meanwhile, other students were taking the ideas posted to the Moodle classroom by each of the groups and creating a Facebook-style narrative tracing the plot of the play. A particularly tech-savvy student volunteered to put it all together in the visual style of Facebook, which she did on her own. The final product can be seen below (click for a larger image).

Enjoy!

This is the 31st in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Rights
sung to the tune of “Lights”

(With apologies to Ellie Goulding, and those planning to read King John… SPOILERS!)

I claimed divine rights,
Ruling here on my own.
There is a vague threat,
But the king will not be overthrown.

And I’m not sleeping now;
The French king has forced my hand.
And if I’m staying strong,
I must do something drastic.

You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
And so I tell my man he must be strong,
Inform me when he’s gone.

And he’s falling, falling, falling way down,
Falling, falling, falling, down.
You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
Oh-oh-oh…

I never thought
I would be king;
Never owned land,
As I’m the youngest brother.

But that changed quickly when
My father and my brothers died:
Now the Bastard is
The only nephew who’s safe.

You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
And so I tell my man he must be strong,
Inform me when he’s gone.

And he’s falling, falling, falling way down,
Falling, falling, falling, down.
You know the rights that boy has to the throne:
He’d claim them when he’s grown.
Oh-oh-oh…

I’m a sports-cheating substance that frequently shames;
The electrical current that powers your games;
I’m a drink from the fruit; I am Orenthal James;
And the cred on the street that a heavyweight claims.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Asher. See comments for answer.

From A Midsummer Night’s Dream:

A play there is, my lord, some ten words long,
Which is as brief as I have known a play;
But by ten words, my lord, it is too long,
Which makes it tedious.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

My mood? Vocal Roger Ebert had a symbiotic relationship with dry Gene Siskel, then shone solo.

If it was thumbs up or down, it was always kindly.

This is the 30th in a series of 40 pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Navarre Shake
based on the Internet meme featuring “Harlem Shake” by Baauer

(With no apologies…)

[The KING, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE are engrossed in study. They ignore BEROWNE, who is dancing wildly while music plays.]

Con los reconquistas!

Hey, Shake!
Hey, Shake!

You can do the Navarre Shake!

[Quick cut. The KING, LONGAVILLE, DUMAINE, and BEROWNE are now all dressed as Muskovites. They are joined by the PRINCESS, ROSALINE, MARIA, and KATHERINE. All eight are dancing wildly as the music plays.]

Con los reconquistas!

Hey, Shake!
Hey, Shake!

Do the Navarre Shake!

I am moving a mouse while the button you press;
I’m a cigarette hit; I am cross-gendered dress;
A fast race with two cars; slowing force to suppress;
Or to make one go with you while under duress.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Janai. See comments for answer.

Well, I guess I’m doing them all…

This is the 29th in a series of pop-music parodies for Shakespeare fans.

Enjoy!

Prince of Tyre
sung to the tune of “Girl on Fire”

(With apologies to Alicia Keys, and fans of Pericles…)

He’s just a prince and he’s from Tyre.
He comes from overseas;
His name is Pericles.
He’s living in a world so far from Tyre.
Can’t help but to displease
A king he cannot appease.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
He sought to wed the king’s daughter.
Now he’s stuck in hot water.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
He solved the king’s riddle.
Now he’s trapped in the middle.

This prince is of Tyre!
This prince is of Tyre.
He’s so far from Tyre.
This prince is of Tyre!

Looks like a knave, but he’s a prince.
He returns home to his land,
Cures a famine with some grain.
A storm wrecks his ship out in the rinse,
Washes up on the sand,
Competes for a bride again.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
He wins the girl in the match;
She thinks that he’s quite the catch.

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
They have a daughter, and then
A storm wrecks his ship again.

This prince is of Tyre!
This prince is of Tyre.
He’s so far from Tyre.
This prince is of Tyre!

One day Marina to him is led,
After years of thinking him dead,
And he finds that she’s his girl,
And her mom’s alive in the world.
What a thing to learn, baby, learn, baby…

This prince is of Tyre!
This prince is of Tyre.
He’s so far from Tyre.
This prince is of Tyre!

Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Oh-oh-oh-oh!

He’s just a prince and he’s from Tyre.