Earlier this week, I attempted to answer the question of whether Henry VIII has any living descendants, but I fear my answer may have been a bit too long winded. Perhaps I could deliver a more succinct answer if I made an anagram from the speech in Shakespeare where Henry talks about his daughter Elizabeth.

From Henry VIII:

O lord archbishop!
Thou hast made me now a man: never, before
This happy child, did I get any thing.
This oracle of comfort has so pleas’d me,
That when I am in heaven, I shall desire
To see what this child does, and praise my Maker.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Henry VIII has no descendants that live.

Hail papa! From each of the four mommies, the Eighth had a hip kid: Catholic Mary, bastard Henry, wise Bess, and little Edward.

These had no more. His chromosomal line was stopped. Gone.

I am not someone’s heart, but I’m worn on your sleeve;
You have seen it on TV: the weakest must leave;
I connect Kevin Bacon to Christopher Reeve;
And I’m missing, but out there, as some still believe.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Annalisa. See comments for answer.

In a “Pic Tac Toe” puzzle, there are nine pictures in a three-by-three grid, like Tic-Tac-Toe. In each row, column, and diagonal, there is a common theme that unites the three pictures. The challenge is to find the eight themes.

You can click on each image to see a larger version:

Please post whatever you come up with in the comments section.

Enjoy!

UPDATE: Correct themes provided by Neel Mehta (8). Alternate themes suggested by Neel Mehta (2). See comments for all answers.

I subscribe to a service called “SiteMeter” which allows me to see a limited amount of information about my visitors. One thing that I can see is if someone finds my site via a Google search. Recently, I’ve had a number of hits from people looking to find out about living descendants of King Henry VIII. My site isn’t really about that, but I thought I’d provide an answer anyway, as a public service.

There are no living descendants of King Henry VIII.

Henry’s father, King Henry VII, had four offspring who lived past childhood: Arthur, Margaret, Henry, and Mary. Arthur was always expected to be the next king, but he died in 1502. When Henry VII died in 1509, the kingdom was passed to his younger son, crowned Henry VIII.

Henry VIII had four known living offspring from four different women. His first wife, Catherine of Arragon, gave him a daughter, Mary (born 1516). He had an illegitimate son, Henry FitzRoy (born 1519), with his mistress Elizabeth Blount. His second wife, Ann Boleyn, had a daughter Elizabeth (born 1533). His third wife, Jane Seymour, had a son, Edward (born 1537). Henry VIII would have three more wives, but no more children to carry on his line. And as we shall see, none of his four branches would bear fruit.

Henry FitzRoy died in 1536, while his father was still alive.

When Henry VIII died in 1547, young Edward became King Edward VI, but died in 1553 with no heir. He was 15 years old. That was the end of Henry’s Y chromosome. But what about the daughters?

There was a brief reign by Lady Jane Grey (not a descendant of Henry VIII, but a granddaughter of his sister Mary) and then Henry VIII’s daughter Mary took the throne as Queen Mary I of England. You may know her as Bloody Mary.

(Don’t confuse either Mary with Mary Queen of Scots, who was yet a third Mary. She is a descendant of Henry VIII’s sister Margaret. We’ll come back to her in a bit.)

Mary I of England died in 1558 with no offspring, leaving the country in the capable hands of her sister Elizabeth. During the 45-year-long reign of Queen Elizabeth I, we saw a new Golden Age which included the rise of Shakespeare and Sir Francis Bacon. But alas, we saw no heir. Elizabeth died in 1603, ending her father’s biological legacy forever.

The crown then passed to the son of Mary Queen of Scots, who was James VI of Scotland at the time. He became King James I of England. And Shakespeare quickly began work on Macbeth. Note that the British monarchy even today can be traced back to King Henry VII, the father of King Henry VIII.

But King Henry VIII himself has no known living descendants.

I hope this was helpful for at least some of you. For the rest of you, expect a new Conundrum tomorrow.

UPDATE: An anagram version of the answer!

I’m heading out later this morning to go see Ian McKellan in King Lear, so perhaps this would be a good day for a Lear-related anagram. Let’s see what happens if I rearrange Lear’s powerful storm monologue into a glib weather forecast.

From King Lear:

Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!
You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
Till you have drench’d our steeples, drown’d the cocks!
You sulphurous and thought-executing fires,
Vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
Singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
Strike flat the thick rotundity o’ the world!
Crack nature’s moulds, all germens spill at once
That make ingrateful man!

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Now, the AccuLuck rundown. AccuLuck has a glacial tornado-threshold unsure storm advisory tomorrow. We suggest to shun rain and lack hail. Shut up in a lovely daughter’s house. Thursday’s outlooks have staler luck with a sure percent chance of buckling king madness by lunch, but a likely redemption tilt at night. Friday, expect cutthroat deaths and restored order in time for the long weekend.

I am weak in the hanger and melt in a fuse;
I bring money to some and to others bring news;
When I’m live, I’m a danger; when high, I amuse;
And I make electronics so easy to use.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by DB. See comments for answer.

In a “Pic Tac Toe” puzzle, there are nine pictures in a three-by-three grid, like Tic-Tac-Toe. In each row, column, and diagonal, there is a common theme that unites the three pictures. The challenge is to find the eight themes.

You can click on each image to see a larger version:

Please post whatever you come up with in the comments section.

Enjoy!

UPDATE: Correct themes provided by Annalisa (6) and Neel Mehta (2). See comments for all answers.

Yesterday, I hosted a reading of King Lear. It happened to be my birthday, so I wanted to get a cake. But since it was a King Lear reading and not a birthday party, I wanted to get a cake that would be King Lear appropriate. Here’s what I came up with:

Fortunately, my friends have a more traditional sense of birthday practice, and surprised me with a proper birthday cake:

Chocolate cake, vanilla cake, friends, and a King Lear reading: who could ask for a better birthday?

A quick word of explanation may be needed for this one.

Beatrice and Benedick both have speeches in which they “realize” that the other is in love with them and they decide to requite the love. Just for fun, I condensed and reworked Benedick’s speech to be an anagram of Beatrice’s.

Who says anagrams can’t be romantic?

From Much Ado About Nothing:

What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemn’d for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band,
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly.

Shift around the letters, and it becomes:

Love me! why, ’twill be kindled. They hinted the lady is dandy: ’tis so; and wise, but for that she loves: say ’tis no indictment to her folly; I can horribly love her in turn. I could chance have some odd dumb quirk in divine wit undertaken, for I railed so long against marriage; but do not desires change? Can invented paper bullets of the brain divide man from the career of his hope? No; the continents must be peopled.

If you like, you can compare it to the original speech here (around line 90).

I am housing assigned for enlisted or brass;
I can help you do laundry, or park with no pass;
I’m divided semesters for college kids’ class,
And then afterwards something they put in a glass.

Who am I?

UPDATE: Riddle solved by Annalisa. See comments for answer.